We've got ants in the corner
Of the bedroom where the nightstand stood
They're crawling up through the floorboard
Through the molding, through the cracks in the wood
I know they want to march to the kitchen
To swarm on something sweet, to pounce like a gang
So we suck them up in our vacuum hose attachment
It isn't humane but they do not die in vain
I hope this sends a message to your entire colony
I hope this sends a message to your queen
We've got moles in the garden
Digging tunnels down in the dirt
We must make them stop, must make them disappear
Even if it kills them, even if it makes them hurt
Excuse me for being curt
But I hope this sends a message to your entire mole populace
I hope this puts you in your place
As long as I don't see a panther
As long as I don't see a bear
I've got my place at the top of the food chain
And I like it there
We've got flies flying around us
Landing in our food, swimming in our drinks
So we made a trap of apple cider vinegar
And flush their dead, lifeless bodies down the sink
I hope your friend and family flies heed this as a warning
I hope they've all skipped town by the morning
As long as my two eyes don't meet up
With a prowling Siberian's stare
I've got my place at the top of the food chain
And I like it there
I've got hands
They're not the biggest hands, but I've seen smaller hands
I suppose they're pretty good sized hands
I've got thumbs
Yes, opposable thumbs
I've seen cats with thumbs
But they're not like these kind of thumbs
And I've got logic and language to use to my advantage
To tell all these inferior species not to inconvenience
The man with the thumbs on his hand because this land
It is simply just not your land
As long as I don't see an eagle
As long as I don't see a bear
I've got my place at the top of the food chain
And I like it there
As long as sharks don't emerge from the water
To walk through our land and breathe our air
I've got my place at the top of the food chain
And I like it there
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